Gives You Hell - Glee
x
So tonight, I am somehow forced to sit down and think of a situation between my dear friend and I. There were countless times that I shrugged off the need to think and find a solution.. or perhaps just a catalyst to get to somewhere, somewhere that could possibly bring us to an agreement. Guess the best way to describe it is : Sweeping it under the rug. Time after time.
I would very much like to pen a letter or an email, but I know my words would be vicious. They don't attack with sudden swift movements; rather, they creep under your skin and flows through your veins, it pricks at will, shock you to a standstill, your heart beats fast and then it starts eating you.
I am told that if I were to pen a letter, give it 3 days before sending it to the intended party. So, yes I will. I will give it a week if it'd give us a week of temporary contentment.
x
I just needed to get that off my chest. You know that feeling of feeling so much in a moment and wanting to explode, just like a can of cola that has been shaken persistently? I found myself standing much longer in the shower, talking to the wall, saying all these words that have never crossed my mind to my friend. The words found themselves so perfectly; as if they were jigsaw pieces just waiting for the hand to give them a perfect fit. That said, the bathroom is one of the most inspiring places to be. Sounds... kinky but a lot of the amazing things I've thought and said had originated from standing in the shower or passing poop. hee hee, too much information right there but hey, human waste is a natural thing. Embrace it.
I am sliding back to my lazy ass persona and I just wish to lie in bed all day, or fuss about with the smaller details in my life rather than try to save the world or spread the cheer. I have a million seconds but I'd rather devote them to planning my future than salvaging the troubles people come with. I think it's time for me to be selfish and to think of myself and what I want, than try to decipher people's ever-changing minds and ficklemindedness about who and what they want to be in my life. I think I should include a Haha here to make it sound more chillax... okay it did not work.
But, *small smile*, I'm doing well thank you very much. I just don't need unnecessary negativity in my life and my mental blocking device is back at work! Hell yeah! You bitches can suck it hahahahaha. I kid I kid. But like Barney Stinson says, "When I feel sad, I stop feeling sad and feel awesome instead. True story."hee hee. I just want to worry about my day-to-day, worry if Sasha is feeling too cold or too warm, worry if my dad is getting his daily dosage of laughter and music, worry if my mother is getting a little too busy and stressed out, worry if I should be feeling woozy every night sitting in this chair.
I'd like to live in the moment and dream out aloud and eat candy and down it with cola and then go on dreaming about the near future and talk to people and dish fashion advice and think about cute guys and devise ways to sort the things swimming in my head etc etc. A pretty rad and simple plan for now, but like how The Weepies roll : I want to live a simple life..
.. For now,
x L ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment