not ready to make nice;

Yeah.. So well, I think there's a lot swimming in my head but I just lose it every 5 minutes you know? It's like, "Oh yay, I'm shifting to somewhere awesomely near town"... then 5 minutes later I'm like, ".... Eh, what was I happy about?"

And... whoever said that you don't move away from people when you move on, is just... I don't know. Don't know what's a good word but that ain't true. People do actually kinda move away. It's evident in silences, in waiting in between texts, in waiting, even in pauses in between words. So well, don't know much about how weeks of silence can work out... but there's space? To breathe? Is.. space what we all really wanted in the first place? Then why bother in the first place?

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this but I know I'm focussed on things I need to focus on. Which is pretty good. Awesome? I need to go back to where my head was 10 minutes ago. I really had something I felt I could untangle or figure out in my head. COME BACK TO ME.

Have I posted the following video? I don't know! But lately, I've been a lot more unforgiving, a lot more forthcoming, a lot more.. raw and unedited. I say things when I want to, talk to myself when I want to, hell, I feel like I can kick ass anytime.. So feisty. Maybe even empowered.

But you know, I think I'm still nice. Still politically correct. Still approachable.... Buuuut, not so much if you think I'm disposable in your life. Or that my feelings towards you wouldn't change if yours does. Or that you'd have a hold on me. Don't for a second think you can get away with guilt-tripping me for feeling humane. Aight aight, nothing personal is going wrong/ no hatred or whatever, just....

Don't ever think I'm gonna wait here for you.... forever.

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x L