"Funny how we think of romance as always involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense."
— Tom Robbins
x
I dislike feeling bitter about this. It feels so foreign. It feels indifferent. It feels... strange. Like we are, indeed, strangers. Like we were meant to somehow dissolve. You may say no, but.. we both know.. we both know. And then you make me wonder.. am I really naive for believing so?
A couple of months back, it was a different happy. A different kind of naive. And then fast forward to the future, you look back and question who you were back then. You think about who you were, what made you happy, what made you sad, what kept you alive.. And you may secretly yearn for it or you may secretly hate it.. You start questioning what could've been real, what could've been different, what you couldn't have possibly missed out. It's ... I.. I can't put it in words. I smile for most of the part thinking about my past, whatever it was. I cringe sometimes, I get irked sometimes, I get pissed sometimes, I feel small sometimes, I feel a lot braver, I feel cold most of the times... so on... But in order to move on from where you were stuck at, you always gotta think a step ahead.
And this step ahead? Knowing that whatever happened whether you liked it or not, whether you sucked it up or fought.. that whatever happened made you who you were. However bitter you felt, however hateful you were, however spiteful, however naive.. Turn it around. I know it's hard, but what is easy? I admit I still wear scars from the past, but who isn't? I may not listen to songs I used to anymore with the same smile on my face, I may not want to ever embrace the kind of love that someone else preaches about to me, I may not want to be happy for the same people that I used to be happy for.. But I will listen to the songs knowing how special they used to be, I will embrace respect and love even more, I will be happy for so many others alike in time to come and to just be happy for them till time takes it away.. At least. I try. I'll try. We may all be broken, but being broken gives us even more reason to.. heal?
So smile or cry, you're you and your "beginning" starts everyday. Whatever today is, it's a day. It could be another day, but for the most part of it, it could be a reason to start or feel new everyday.
That was so cliche,
x L
A couple of months back, it was a different happy. A different kind of naive. And then fast forward to the future, you look back and question who you were back then. You think about who you were, what made you happy, what made you sad, what kept you alive.. And you may secretly yearn for it or you may secretly hate it.. You start questioning what could've been real, what could've been different, what you couldn't have possibly missed out. It's ... I.. I can't put it in words. I smile for most of the part thinking about my past, whatever it was. I cringe sometimes, I get irked sometimes, I get pissed sometimes, I feel small sometimes, I feel a lot braver, I feel cold most of the times... so on... But in order to move on from where you were stuck at, you always gotta think a step ahead.
And this step ahead? Knowing that whatever happened whether you liked it or not, whether you sucked it up or fought.. that whatever happened made you who you were. However bitter you felt, however hateful you were, however spiteful, however naive.. Turn it around. I know it's hard, but what is easy? I admit I still wear scars from the past, but who isn't? I may not listen to songs I used to anymore with the same smile on my face, I may not want to ever embrace the kind of love that someone else preaches about to me, I may not want to be happy for the same people that I used to be happy for.. But I will listen to the songs knowing how special they used to be, I will embrace respect and love even more, I will be happy for so many others alike in time to come and to just be happy for them till time takes it away.. At least. I try. I'll try. We may all be broken, but being broken gives us even more reason to.. heal?
So smile or cry, you're you and your "beginning" starts everyday. Whatever today is, it's a day. It could be another day, but for the most part of it, it could be a reason to start or feel new everyday.
That was so cliche,
x L
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