i'll taste the devil's tears and drink from it's soul;

Devil's Tears - Angus & Julia Stone



x

"When we say things like, people don't change. It drives scientists crazy. Because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, it's always changing. Morphing. Merging. Growing. Dying. It's the way people that try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on leaving, despite every scientific indication that everything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again."

Grey's Anatomy Season 7 Episode 1 

.
.
.

It feels like that isn't it? How tightly we want to hold onto something old and not want it to change. Because we can be so scared of change. Today, I realized how afraid of change I was, that I had forgotten about the change that I had always looked forward to. I was too happy, too comfortable and I wanted to live it recklessly. Abuse the comfort I knew I shouldn't have taken granted of. Then I lost it. I fell and lost it. Poof went my dreams, poof went my sanity. I lost my dreams, lost my head, lost my heart.

So today, I was reminded of what I wished I hadn't let go. And it is today that a little plan popped into my head - a little little plan that I had forgotten in the midst of all the indulgence. It is only amidst chaos that we have a clarifying moment, or a fresh breath of life. And we'll never let it go, we'll never let go of the defining moment. The part where it gets too hard and suffocating that we commit it to memory. We take it and draw it across our heart, forever there and forever scarred.

So here I am, speaking from the aftermath. That should you lose your head and heart at any part of life, remember your beginning and what you used to be, and then fall back into the now and let yourself be foolish, let your heart be broken, let your tears dry on your own. Then crawl into the light and just breathe and let it go. Step out of the skin you shed and just walk. Walk away and walk on.. Just walk on. And live life as if you were born all over again :)





x L