YOU DON'T KNOW IT

Pop and easy listening music is created for a reason. Other than to suck your cash and blindly following cults but.. you know, keeps you away from the heavy stuff.

And I should get away from the heavy stuff. Does that mean I have to get away from reading? I should seek a balance. Yes, a balance. How will I seek balance? Thou shalt not think?

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I'm starting to get away from wallowing in this war in my head wondering what's the purpose of life and things we do.. But somehow I know I'd come crawling back for answers. But let me just drift in and out of my consciousness first before trying to figure out reality.. come to think of it, I have the rest of my life to figure out reality. But what's there to figure out right? I'm gonna resolve to back to the path of the pull between resistance and submission.

Sometimes being an empty vessel seems to be the easiest. You may be the fool, but guess who the joke is on? Yep, the world. Joke's on the world.

Why so cynical?

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Reading. Looking at allegory, metaphors, analogies, introspection, theories etc. just gets you thinking you know? It's amazing how layered and complicated and mysterious you are. Yeah, you. Your head, your thoughts, your heart, body, mind, soul, spirit... Mmm.

Excerpts. I love excerpts. So I will bombard this with excerpts. Because I need to shelter these words other than in my head.

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 The Land of Green Plums by Herta Muller

"They stood in line, like people in a store. When death was served to someone, everyone moved up a place. What did the milk of the fog know about it, or the currents of air, or the curve of the tracks? A death is as cheap as the hole in your pocket. You stick your hand in it, and your whole body has to go along. The more people died, the greater the obsession of those who remained."

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

"Strange about learning; the farther I go, the more I see that I never knew even existed. A short while ago, I foolishly thought I could learn everything - all the knowledge in the world. Now I hope only to be able to know of its existence, and to understand one grain of it."

"The foolish thing was trying to solve the problem all by myself. But the deeper I get tangled up in this mass of dreams and memories, the more I realize that emotional problems can't be solved as intellectual problems are. That's what I discovered about myself last night. I told myself I was wandering around like a lost soul, and then I saw that I was lost."

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I realized that I have so many different thoughts and opinions on everything. And it needs to be coaxed to get it out of my system. These words aren't familiar but they're all mine. It's amazing huh? The human mind.