I MAY JUST BE CONFUSED

Sometimes I think to myself, what am I doing with my life? What was I thinking of 10 years before? Did I wonder who I'd be in 10 years ahead back then? Did I ask myself what is life back then? Does anyone still wonder who they really are deep down inside?

Have I been living it on the whim? Wouldn't say it's on the edge.. but aimlessly? I have let myself go a lot more than I have intended to..

But intention. What's the morality behind intention? If intention was a friend of morality, would it be in the grey areas or would you still draw lines? Lines. Lines of intentionality and accidentally.. This is hard huh?

Well, I guess I'll never run out of questions. Never run out of things to say. Never will I run out of opinions or words. But that's what life is right? Asking questions, being a skeptic, always doubting, always wanting more. Answers; they'll appear. A sign, a hint, a whiff. Just keep questioning, keep begging, keep wanting more. Then you'll get it. Don't ask me how, it somehow sneaks into your head like a whisper in your ear.

I'll never stop hating the feeling of uncertainty, I'll never stop loving the fact that uncertainty holds its own cards in destiny.. Never stop feeling what I'm feeling, and you either choose to love or hate it. Deal with it, compromise or resist it. 

I think too much from a third person's point of view sometimes.. People just tell me, "You just haven't been there yet, honey". Or have I? I don't speak from experience, I don't admit to succumbing to heartaches that kills the brokenhearted, I don't even want to think about things - I just block it out. I tell myself what I know of myself. I am able to see every speck of the lines I've drawn, every small little detail, every curve, every little swipe at it. It's funny, it's funny how I give chances to things that don't and shouldn't matter, to feel like it's okay to feel what I've felt, to be so dehumanize or is it just human to think so?

I'll leave with a question of: Do we want to be better because we're told to do so or is it just for our own selfish reasons?